Long Overdue Update!

Thought I should update since a loooong time has passed since I posted last.

I spent about 20 hours on my math issues and ended up acing my finals. I didn’t get a single math question wrong. I did a great big happy dance when I got back my results. It was a hard, painful crawl, but I got there.

This semester we’ve been presented with more math. I’m wandering back in my memory to the information evening when we were told that there wasn’t much math in this course, and not to sweat it.

Uh huh

Since then, several of my class-mates have had a chat with the instructors and brought this to their attention. We really do feel that this was a misrepresentation. Yes, there IS a lot of math. No, for the average recent high school grad with good marks in math it isn’t particularly challenging math. BUT, it does exists, it will challenge at least 35% of the students and this should be expressed in order to help people better prepare if they decide to take the program.

That aside…

Christmas was lovely, but the snow stopped R. from joining me at my family’s for the holiday. That was not such a happy thing but what can you do? We did take a lovely holiday together a few weeks ago, and that was a nice break.

I finally attended a play party again, after far too long and got a wonderful treat. My precious friends treated me to a birthday surprise, and coaxed the kitten out to play.

Things have been so busy and I’ve been so stressed and tired that I find it hard to think about kink or playing right now. I hadn’t planned on letting the kitty out but I’m glad that my friends encouraged me. I was in photographer-headspace, but the kitty was definitely there as well. I also got some amazing photos of one of the most well-loved members of our local community and I have lots of good material to work on…when time allows. I really thank her for allowing me to capture such an playful suspension scene.

Off to do some chores today and then some homework. Thought I should update. Sorry it wasn’t juicier but sometimes life just pushes things to the side for the time-being. I’d like to believe the appetite for play and kink will come back when the stress of changing careers eases up.

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Kink? What’s That?

Ugh, it’s been a crazy month with school coming to a close, a mad rush of last minute assignments and pre-tests to prepare us for the finals.

I had a meltdown when my brain took a dive on my last theory test. It saw all the math questions and just bailed out, took a TKO and refused to get back up again. It was hell. Luckily that test didn’t count for much, and as R. reminded me it could be seen as a good thing in retrospect. It’s made me really pinpoint my weak spot and get determined to conquer it in time to ace my finals.

R. has been very supportive and extremely patient with me during the school process. He packs my lunch, calls me his little schoolgirl, and listen when I rant about missing a few questions on my tests. He tucks me in on school nights and helps me keep some healthy perspective.

The daddy/little girl thing is so ingrained in our daily lives now that I often forget there’s any D/s going on at all. Not to mention that I’m so distracted by school that I often go days without checking into fetlife, or this blog. I’ve forgotten that I even have a kink-life.

Tomorrow is MVK, and I hope to go. R. has not confirmed whether he’ll be able to attend with me, but I do hope so. I have a whole lot of math to study this weekend so as not to repeat the crash-and-burn I had 2 weeks ago on this Monday’s finals, but I need a break, and a reminder that’s there’s life out there. I just put in a few good hours tonight on math so I can feel good about taking tomorrow off and having fun. I miss my friends!

I can’t wait until Wednesday when the semester is behind me for a few weeks; I love the holidays. R. and I are going to visit my parents for Christmas, and I know it’ll be special. I hope to put up our Christmas tree on Sunday, this will my second Christmas with R., and I can’t believe how fast the year went.

Well, off to see if I can talk R. into snuggling on the couch with some retro TV…and then sweet dreams about anything that doesn’t include math…I hope!

Happy December, everyone.

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Too Much Of A Good Thing?

In a comment on my Consenting Public post Puppy Princess wrote:

My 13 year old grandson thinks my collar is cool; he doesn’t think it’s odd in the lease. He’s just used to it. He may have asked me why I wear it once; I told him that I like it, that I think it’s pretty and he was content with that answer. Could some people, perhaps, be over thinking this one?

I think there’s a lot of over-reaction in the BDSM community, all in the name of trying to be safe, sane and consensual. I applaud the SSC tenet as just a basic good approach to life, really, but it’s like political correctness, it can go way too far!!

I’m not a cookie-cutter type person, I never truly fit the social mold and I’m sure almost every kinkster agrees that they felt, most of their life, that they just didn’t quite fit the conventional life. I never really wanted to, and I doubt I ever will want to. The plain truth is I like being a bit different, I like being a bit odd by social norms.

I don’t want just one type of cereal everyday for breakfast, I don’t want steamed broccoli every night for dinner. And while I love a little spicy curry in my diet I wouldn’t want it as the sole staple of my culinary existance.

Variety is not only the spice of life, it’s the spice of sex and love as well.

I wasn’t willing to conform in grade one, I never conformed in my early adulthood, and, as I sit here, at the ripe age of almost-50, staring at the pile of college textbooks waiting for me to return to studying for tomorrow’s exam,  I can see that I haven’t learned conformity yet.

And I sincerely hope I never do.

Society could benefit from a little shaking up, a little splash of cold water on its face. Isn’t it about time we woke up from the silly dream that we are all alike and we all live in this safe sterile world where all the leftovers neatly fit the stacking tupperware containers in the fridge?

Let’s not forget, if it wasn’t for mold we’d never have penicillin.

Don’t be afraid to rock the boat, just make sure you do it at a depth where you can swim, and wear protection against hypothermia and jelly-fish. No need to risk your life.

Splash on, dear kink-folk, splash on!

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Consenting Public?

Recently in the FetLife forum we were discussing the ethical issues of wearing collars in public and other such public displays of BDSM. Is such behaviour forcing our lifestyle on people non-consensually? Someone asked: Do we have the right to inflict on people things they don’t want to see?

I was at a movie just last Thursday night and right before the main movie I was bombarded by three long, loud trailers for some up and coming slasher flicks. No one asked me if I would be traumatized by all the bloody, screaming violence even though I came to see a comedy, but guess what, I hate those trailers and find all that violence obscene. I do object to those films and hate to be exposed to them, but I came out in public as an aware adult and, because I believe in freedom of expression and disagree with censorship, I guess I have no choice but to either refuse to patronize the theatre until they change their policy or to grin and bear it.

In Canada wearing a leash and collar or playfully, consensually, smacking your friend’s ass in public aren’t illegal, neither is going topless in public, or wearing rubber or latex. I have every right to do those things. Do I exercise those rights? Not really, because I’m a more private person than that. Would I go to jail for my right to do so? Yes, because I choose to live in a free country and want it to remain so.

Historically rights are gained by human beings being willing to demand those rights. Doing so can be a painful and costly process, but it’s a risk we take for freedom, and one we can’t take for granted. Sometimes it does take shock value to wake people up, sadly; look at how many gay people had to die from unwarranted brutal attacks before the police began to get more vigilant on homophobia-motivated violence.

And that battle continues!

It angers me that these civil rights have to be battled for over and over again for every new minority that comes along. Women fought for their basic rights, gays fought for equality, and now we have to stand up for ourselves too. What’s at stake? The right to be who we are within the laws of the country we live in.

If that means being stared at for wearing a collar, or kneeling in pubic, I see nothing wrong with that.

As for children being exposed to power exchange relationships…It’s up to parents to explain to their children about the real world they see in front of them and not to try to create a false sanitized reality which will fail to prepare them for adulthood. As long as people are not breaking the law – which is meant to protect all its citizens rights – there should be no traumatic to children for parents to complain about.

And yes, before anyone wonders, I DO care about protecting children, I have 30+ years experience as a childcare worker and teacher. Obviously I understand children and care about them deeply. I know that educating them about reality is the best way to help them grow into healthy productive adults.

So, are we taking the consensual-non-consensual thing a bit too far. I think we could argue that in certain situations one must step over people’s comfort zone to push them to grow. Were people uncomfortable about women wanting the vote? Absolutely. But imagine if all those women had said Let’s not rock the boat and make people uncomfortable with our desire to vote. Were some women forced to suffer some pretty harrowing consequences for pushing for their rights? Yes, and that’s the cost of change sometimes. No one said being a hero was easy.

I’m not saying that everyone in the kink community should don full latex and leather, drag out the whips, and storm the small towns of the world; I’m saying that a lot of us are in a position to begin opening the doorway to our kink closets. Small but deliberate steps, steps that keep us within our country’s laws and don’t jeopardize us unnecessarily.

I’m also saying that we have a certain responsibility to do so. However, each individual must weigh up their own personal costs and benefits, and answer to their own moral and ethical voice when deciding what actions they should take; no one else can make that decision for you.

I think I’ve ranted enough, I could write a novel because this subject is so much more complex than most people realize, but I’ve said my peace. For now.

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Halloween At Rascals

Had a great time at the Rascals Halloween party last night.

There were so many wild and crazy costumes, some traditionally frightening, some wonderfully imaginative and many just plain sexy.

Probably the funniest moment of the evening was glancing over from where I was helping some lovely gal pals tie up a delightful male bondage bottom to see one of my favourite doms all gussied up as a french maid, flogging his sub with his usual thorough abandon. Complete in beard, stockings and a blonde wig.

Now that was worth the price of admission!

R. looked very imposing and authoritative in his cop costume; I’ll definitely have to ask him to wear that again sometime! Sexy! I was decked out with wings, not surprisingly; I know the little fairy inside of me has just been shrieking to get out. (I so looove Halloween!)

Two of my favourite regulars showed up in wondrous full-body wildcat costumes, and naturally they were the first thing I noticed. I wasn’t absolutely sure who they were at first but that didn’t stop me from heading over there to have a self-indulgent kitty-snuggle moment.

I just couldn’t resist the urge to drag my hands all over He-Cat’s slinky-soft fur, and She-Cat was so scrumptiously sensual, I just wanted to crawl into a huge kitty bed with them and heap like kittens. What a deliciously decadent pair they made!

After I left them to go visit with another friend I watched them from a distance and finally figured out who they were. I was thrilled, because I’m very fond of both of them.

Later, I dug my own favourite leopard ears and gloves out of my bag and went over for a little furry-bonding. She-Cat and I had a very scrumptious kitty-moment that quickly led from purrs to yowling and scratching – as kitties will do. But we dragged He-Cat into a cuddly-rub and all was well again.

::puuurrrr::

I do hope they bring out their wildcat-selves again soon. I so want to have more furry feline fun! This is one area of my play-self that so far I just haven’t had an opportunity to explore in depth, unfortunately.

Later R. and I had a chance to get out on the dungeon floor and indulge in some delicious impact play with paddle and rope flogger. He was very commanding, and dragged plenty of Yes Sirs!, and No Sirs, out of me.

::melt::

I love the fact that although it was mostly an impact play scene R. made it nicely sensual instead of blatantly sadistic; I do hope we get to do some more of that!! I know he’s interested in doing some play with the medium weight suede flogger we have, so maybe I can coax him into that sometime soon.

Last night was hands-down one of the best nights I’ve had at Rascals; The fairy and the kitty got to come out, I got to play with friends, and with my daddy/dom/cop as well.

Slept like a baby last night and now I’m looking forward to a dinner munch tonight. I’ve had to alter the munch I organize and it’s been quite the chore changing websites, and posting everywhere local to clarify the changes. Still, it’s a great munch and I’m proud of it. I’m not a great event-organizer-type-person. I admire the work they do, but it leaves me wanting to pull my hair out generally. I’m lucky I have a nice group supporting this munch.

A perfect weekend, really, and one I badly needed after all the stress I’ve had the last 2 weeks.

Now, if only I didn’t have homework to do…

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Munch Changes

The Brunch Munch is undergoing a metamorphosis. The restaurant we frequent is not offering brunch hours for Sunday and so it was decided that we should go ahead and have it as a dinner munch until the brunch hours return in the spring.

We have a new name, The Vancouver Downtown Munch, and a new site.

Visit us at our new website: http://vancouverdowntownmunch.wordpress.com

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Boobiethon Returns!!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In support of all those who battle this horrible disease Boobiethon is having its 7th Annual Photo Submission.

It works like this: Submit a photo of your lovely boobies – yes, men too! – and they will go up on the site. People can donate money to the site to view the lovely photos. Money goes to the Komen Foundation.

Bare boobies are restricted to the pay photo area. The main pages are work-friendly, and there is a free page for tastefully covered, artistic, creative boobie shots!

October 7th is the last day for submission, so please…grab the camera, grab your boobies, and help out the Komen Foundation. We all loooove boobies, so let’s show them we care!!

This Monday’s HNT will feature the boobie shot I submitted to the site. You can go try to spot my boobies here in the meantime. Remember, I have an identifying tat, so you should be able to find me.

Go…be a bra…support boobs now!

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